How to Train Your Master...part 1

I've known of many M/s and other DD relationships that have some pretty interesting quirks. For example, the Master gets to have as many slaves as he likes, and all these salves must just accept and put up or shut up. Sound like an abuse of power? Maybe so, except that it is still within the consensual realm and if such a Master's slaves are okay with it, who are we to question? I have also known of loving domestic discipline relationships where the balance of power is so ridiculous that the man can order his wife to go out at 3 in the morning and bring him a cheeseburger from McDonald's (if they are open late, that is). This kind of relationship may boggle my mind, but the same fact is there. If it is consensual, it is not an abuse of power.

I hope that at least some men read my blog and can learn from what the last 20 years have taught me. There is no greater power than that of a Master over his slave, whether in the confines of a kinky BDSM situation or a Christian or Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. But that power, that control comes with a whole host of responsibilities, and if they are not being met, then the Master is doing a poor job indeed.

So name a few of these responsibilities, you say. Selflessness is the top. The biggie. The numero uno if you will. If you are accepting this power or control out of a selfish nature, your relationship will never work. Resentment will build and grow as you further take advantage of what should be an exquisitely beautiful partnership. Partnership? How can a Master slave relationship be a partnership, you ask? Doesn't it just work that the M tells the s what to do and the s hops right to it? No, and again I say no!!!! That is not at all what this is about, especially if the master is not considering his slave before each and every request. It takes a great deal of effort to be a good master. Not just anyone can do it, as it is not all fun and games. There must be so much communication you will feel as though you are being talked to death. Because you must carefully consider your slaves feelings, she must be in your every waking thought. It is a lot of work! And she must be willing to speak her feelings honestly and openly, Your power must not frighten her away from telling you what is on her mind.

I don't suppose for one minute that I am ever far from Nigel's thoughts. He checks in with me all the time, he calls probably too much, though I would never tell him that because he feels he needs to do it, he is forever asking for my welfare, he is forever considering my needs, cherishing and loving me to a higher plane each moment. How can a marriage of such long standing still be so incredibly hot, so incredibly balanced, so incredibly giving and loving and well... amazing? Because he allows me the freedom of voice to say what I'm thinking. If I find something unfair, or too restricting. If I think he is abusing the power he has...I tell him. And if he is unsure about something he wants to try...he asks me!

And because my Master, my loving husband has made the commitment to being the best master he can be. There is no taking advantage of his power. There are no ridiculous requests placed upon my person. There are firm and practical rules in place that are not designed to boost his ego or make him the tough guy, but that are in place to protect me, keep me safe, and make me a better person. He doesn't barrel about the world or our home screaming:

He wants to make me a better person so that everyone in the world will love me as he does. Because he cares enough to see this happen, he follows through with CONSISTENCY, another major key in being a good master.

How can a woman count on a man she has given this ultimate control to, if he is not consistent? If one time he says something, but another the results are far different. I have talked to women in LDD relationships that are bawling their poor heads off because their partners have promised to take them in hand, they give over that power, and are relieved to no longer have to be so strong, and then find themselves with a man who can not do what he has said he would do! How frustrating! The poor things never know what to expect from one day to the next and so are left feeling half in and half out of their LDD bag. And to make matters worse they are forbidden to complain or speak their minds, so the whole problem gets way out of hand and is never solved, leading to the breakup of what could be a wonderful relationship!

So listen guys, if you are going to do it...do it right. Be the strong and dominant man, please. We all want one even if we don't admit it. But do not go in half cocked with some silly idea about how this works and break a poor woman's heart, or spirit. Especially her spirit.

Because once lost, that spirit will never trust you again.
And if you have any questions....maybe your slave can help...ask her.

Emily