Miss Emily Winters Glossary of Exceptional Terms...Part 2

A long while ago, I posted a bit about the difference between words that are common in the UK and how their meaning may be misconstrued in the US.

..now listen carefully class...Johnny! Stop staring at my ass!

This will be a bit different.

I will not be explaining language barrier issues at all, but rather attempt to explain why men do not understand women via a glossary of terms. Please bear with me and if you are really lucky you will keep this information close at hand and improve your future relationships.

Not tonight I have a headache: an overall term which means you are really getting on my nerves tonight and I simply have no wish to bed you. Or, it can also mean, lately you have been emotionally unavailable to me and therefore, since sex is more emotional for a woman, I have been feeling less than amorous. Listen carefully to me for a week and try again.

..if you see this at all throughout the day...best start being emotionally available!

Nothing: this term means I am exceptionally pissed off or upset right now, but am not yet ready to talk about it. If you continue to pester me you will hear Not tonight I have a headache. Let me stew, and do not worry, you will know when I am ready to have at you!

..zip, zilch, nada..now go away and let me be!

I'm hot: this can of course mean what all men want it to mean which is I am so hot and bothered that if you come over here and breathe on me I will cum on the spot....OR it can also mean, please open a window. Take care to ascertain the true meaning before going over and blowing, or actually, go ahead and blow...

...WELL...come on...whatcha waiting for?

No: I would be a fool to tell you that no means anything other than no. After all this is what our children are being taught these days, right? However, our little girls are not generally involved in BDSM relationships, therefore we will take that situation as assumed and say that no means anything but...unless it is your safeword. However, what kind of fool makes NO a safeword? The kind who doesn't want to have any fun, that's what kind!

...mmm hmmm..that's what I'm talking about!

Hairbrush: as in Hand me that hairbrush on the dresser there, darling. Okay ladies, first of all when your man says this to you, be prepared for your skirt to be flipped up and your bottom reddened, and gents, if your lady asks for the same, please simply hand it to her...her locks need attention, not her arse!

...with locks like these...she'll need it!

Listen: this is a term that most people have trouble with, either man or woman. We cannot help it if our minds wander from where they should be. However, any sentence from a woman that is prefaced with listen...DO IT! and then act accordingly.

..or else you get this face!

Look: see above definition.

...although, sometimes it can simply mean...look at my new lingerie! Either way....LISTEN!

Love:  awww...do I really need to explain it?

...nope, because if you don't know what it means by now...you never will!

Emily.