Redheads ...A List of Do's and Don'ts...Revised a bit.

I'm going to caution you to read this with a grain of salt, or sand, or hell, ginger and spice, and everything nice. Because that's what little redheads are made of. Except when we're not. Now don't go and get all politicaly correct on me and say that it can't be true of all redheads. Just take my word for it. It is. Besides, would you want to have sex with the gentle redheads? I didn't think so.

So...here we go.

Do make them feel good. After all, we only account for about 4% of the world's population. We should be appreciated.  All right, yes, that is a large number of people, but is it really? And after all, you first have to weed out the redheads that looks something like this:

Unless of course your kink falls to that particular amenity. If not, read on.

Don't ignore them. Why? Do you think it is easy being red? We have to work daily to control our temper, and we love attention. Feed it and you will be the happiest person on the planet. We'll give you whatever you want. Starve it, and you have yourself one fuming ginger. It really isn't pretty.

Do make it up to them when you piss them off. Not doing  this is cause for disaster. Redheads are known to have a larger hippocampus in their brains than men and women of other hair color. I think it has something to do with the hairs per square inch theory that states we simply have more hair per square inch than any other human. This allows for an extra large hippocampus. If you are unsure of what this particular area of the brain is responsible for, let me remind you. It is the area that never FORGETS! Elephant memory, folks. So you really should only piss us off once or twice a year. Otherwise...watch out!

Do remember they have incredibly sensitive skin. And I mean everywhere, not just in the obvious spots. Everyone knows they are pale; exceptionally so. But did you ever stop to think there may be a reason for this? Skin that cannot be touched by the sun is capable of retaining more of its sense receptors than skin that has been harshly treated or basically cooked from being tanned. Touch a redhead...anywhere...and you will see that I am right. Her reaction will prove it. But be prepared for laughter and retreat if she feels too much. Perfect skin like this is easily overwhelmed.

Don't do or say something you will regret later. I again refer to the hippocampus memory minefield, but also, redheads have a higher tendency to expectation than most. After all, we are perfect. They also have good memories and a particular temper, which we've all heard about. So basically what you have is a perfect woman, who gets angry, doesn't forget about it, fumes, curses, throws a little fit, and stops expecting. A good redhead can only want something for so long before she realizes she isn't going to get it and all the above kicks in, as well as her turning her back on you until she's over it.  Hmm. I think once this happens your chances for getting laid are pretty slim.

Do get to know her. Find out her kinks, her likes and dislikes. You can always use these to your advantage. We really are incredibly loving and giving people...to those who try to understand us and deserve it, and even, sometimes, to those that aren't. But we'll only be taken advantage of for so long. Why? Because we are also incredibly impatient. It goes with the temper and the skin. How so you ask? Well, we wear our emotions on our skin. In anger we flush, in excitement we blush, in lust we rush, and when touched we turn to mush. Making sense now?

Do let her crush. Sorry to be so rhyme-y. It's a redhead thing, at least for me. We need to crush. Maybe it sounds silly but it's true. A redhead spends the majority of her youth and childhood being made fun of for being awkward, gangly, spotty with freckles, called carrot top and gingerbread, and a host of other not so lovely nicknames I do not care to repeat for fear I will end up back on the psychiatrist's sofa in a hypnotic daze trying to recover everything I have repressed from the mean years of my youth. Sorry, tangent. Yes, another redhead trait. My point is, we never got to experience those halcyon love crushes in school because everytime we tried to talk to a boy we turned pink from head to toe and got called orange beet! Or perhaps it was because all the teasing got to us and we developed a low self esteem, leading to a lack of confidence when it came to dealings with the opposite sex. Or for that matter with the same sex! At any rate, now that we are grown up and know ourselves to be a whole lot better than we were ever given credit for, we'd like to just once develop a crush on a guy. Dream about it, plan out long romantic dates, and maybe if we have a good girlfriend around, do all the giggling and silly things we missed out on as teens. Or maybe not. because for the most part we are also incredibly practical.

Which leads me to....

Don't be inconsistent. We will run. And we will run fast. We're kind of like the tortoise in that old fable. Slow and steady wins the race, but if you are inconsistent we will race right on by and move along. Okay, I made that last part up myself. But the tortoise was green, not a red hare. Haha. get it?  With all this wonderful memory, massive abundance of hair, freckles and slender perfection, why should we take anything less than what we deserve? Oh my, I just realized how snobby I sound! You can forget this last part. But, um. I won't!

Emily